Tuesday, January 02, 2007

It's 2007 already...

I don't how should I feel.
Maybe I should be more optimistic...


Anyway, I spent my New Year Eve and New Year with him. :)
We went out during the Eve and to had dinner at Pizza Hut's.
Then we headed to his place for TV shows and out again after 12mn.
We went to Dhoby Ghaut, PS and The Cathay.

We catched the movie, Blood Diamond at 2.15am.
It's really a good show I must say!
REALLY GOOD.
This is one of the first show that I went speechless and full of thoughts after the show ended.
I was speechless cos' I was stunted by the great movie made.
And I was thinking of how good the story is, it's ending, the whole production, the acting, etc etc.
All the things/skills/techniques/whatever that makes this movie a worthy one to watch.
Haha.
I can't help but think so much of the making of it after learning so much in this course.

After the show it was already 4+am and we took a cab back to his place and I still managed to play Kingdom Hearts II for a while, while waiting for Bee to wash up and ask his dad to sent me home.
I reached home and washed up and all and went to bed around 7+am in the morning, 1st Jan.
I slept till 2+pm and had my lunch and out again in the evening.

We went searching for his formal blouse and walked a little in town and to his place for dinner and TV.
His dad fetched me home after watching Little Nicky.

That's how I spent my 1st day of 2007.
It's so good to be able to be around with him for more than 24 hours.
These will be some happy moments to end my 2006. :)



But there's also some moments which I wish didn't happened...
I was off last Friday and the first thing in the morning while I was intending to wake up later, we were woken upon bad news.
My Dad is not well.
I'm worried like how I still am worried about my Mum.
But sometimes they are just so stibbor that they makes you feel like killing yourself and not bother at all anymore.

How can I not be bothered?
I'm so bothered can.
Really.

Like what I told Bee how I felt for another new year.
I feel happy to be moving forward.
I am glad that I might gain more but also I will lose something, someone, or just something that means a lot to me as time goes by.
How can I not feel bothered when such thoughts just lingers in my head each time my conscience bites?
Sigh.

And on the 1st of January 2007, my Dad couldn't wait any longer cos' he's scared too.
So he was admitted to the hospital.
A happy new year?
I tried to be.

I may not look like I bother much but I do, and a lot, inside.
I asked why.
I feel unfair.
The age gap of us and our parents are more than 30 years apart.
I don't wish to lose them so soon if anything should happen.
Sigh.

There are so much thoughts running through my mind and I can't pour everything out right here or to anybody.
At least I still have him, and maybe my Sis.
I don't think anybody would ever really understand how it feels unless they've been through it.
I guess this is one of the reason why I always try to appreciate more, love more(inside), feel deeper, see much more than what's on the surface and mkaes me think a lot more and deeper.

I am no carefree, happy, stress-less, troubled-less, everything-ness or happy-go-lucky on the inside.
But not to the extend that I am under depression lah.
Am glad I'm still able to pick myself up from every fall and try my best to move on that's why people can't see it.
I may fall hard, maybe for things I have yet to experience.
I can only tell myself, it's part of growing up.


The house feels weird without my Dad sleeping here tonight.
Even the dog is exceptionally quiet today.
The fish is sick and it looks like it's dying the other day.

Right.
I don't mean to rant like a pessimist.


Anyway, I still gotta thank God for all the happiness he gave to me to keep me going.
I had my great times and all I need is to think of them and feel happier.
Everything in life is balanced.
Yea.

There's no good or bad.
It's just life.
A lesson.
A journey.
To learn.

It's already 2nd day of 2007.
It's another holiday.
Wendesday will be going for work again.

My answer?
Hmmm...




I wish for happiness and love for everyone. :)
Smile k?
Cos' I still can face the world with a smile everyday despite all the downs.
There'll be a better day, I believe.


@ 2:51 AM