Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I was supposed to be officially employed on Monday, 19th March 2007, as a full-time staff but I didn't even know!
I went to work late and thinking I was still freelancing.

Anyway, I'm very stressed.
I like to live at my home but I'll cost me the important things in life.
Somehow, I feel like I can't wait to be living on my own.
But I know it'll not be easy living alone and they are pushing my limit too far sometimes that I can really breakdown, mentally.

I rather live on my own and blame everything bad on myself, than to stress, fuming about it and at them which I hate.
I wish I had somewhere I can go and be alone.
And, hopefully to see if that helps in any way.
But I have nowhere to go.

I don't know what more to say.
This is just what I'm feeling right now.
And right now I'm mentally exhausted.


I was happier outside, before I came home just now.
I can think nothing about stress/work at all, with him.
At least I think of happier stuffs.
Feed my soul with happier thoughts and find/do/eat/play things I like to.

Last Sunday's meeting with SY, SM and Ade was good.
We are like some silly kids to people looking from far far away, at us take photos away.
Little 'pinic' after dinner at Pastamania and chat away.

Yesterday, I had to go to work as usual.
I didn't know I was supposed to be 'official'.
After work, meet Bee at Bugis Junction to get the shirt I reserved for him.
Then, dinner at hawker centre at Bugis shophouses there, walked a little, had tiramisu for dessert, then walked to The Cathay to rest, all the way from Bugis.

Today, I went to work late again.
My stomach was not feeling good and it almost rained on me on my long walk to my building.
Stomachache, no the-only-bus-service, drizzled while rushing in heels and a near 3kg laptop and big bag, and way to work.
But in the afternoon was better.
We had birthdays-celebration-lunch-outing at Holland V's NYDC Cafe.
The food was good and the dessert is even better.
Oh, I forgot I was broke and I had to borrow money first from my colleague in the morning over MSN lah.
Tsk.
One more 'sian' thing to happen in the morning being reminded that I'm going bankrupt.

After work, met Bee at PS.
I had my dinner.
The food I bought was bad as it's ever-dropping standard.
Whatever.
The food just sucks but I choose to eat it knowing I'll be disappointed.
Silly I know and I better not defame the stall name.
I wanted to lah.

The yucky dinner was made up with dessert at Gelare.
It's Tuesday mah, for those who know.
Then, walked a little little bit and go get my Her World mag(finally) and home.
The mag was out the day before like that but I don't have cash to buy lah.
Anyway, I got it and now I have something I can read and destress a bit when I'm free.
I had some design books borrowed from the library too but haven't find time to really read them.

And, then I'm home with a heavy heart and get all frustrated with stuffs cos by stress and stupid problems I wish to solve but seems like cannot.

SIGHS.


@ 11:19 PM